Suffering no More

Hey y’all, I’m “Doc” Marc. For a while I was a corpsman in the Navy, where I got my FMF (Fleet Marine Force) pin and served as a “Devil Doc” for some of the bravest Marines I have ever known. It was a real honor and probably the highlight of my life. When I left the military and came back home, I wanted to use all the training and experience I had gained to make things better in my own hometown. I signed on as an Emergency Medical Technician and that was a great decision too! Join my blog and hear my adventures then and now. I love the accolades for my work and never mind the frequent hassles and obstacles involved. It can be a high stress job, but only if you let it.

Life on the road as an EMT can be daunting as you encounter situations in all kinds of weather and environments. You can’t be afraid of soiling your clothes. I may come home less pristine than when I left. I might have been involved in helping to extract someone from a muddy roadside bank after the car has barely escaped collision. Or, the day might have been filled with a visit to a musty cellar where a would-be carpenter cut his arm. Then I am engulfed in enough blood to soak my uniform. Then there was the time I stood in the rain for precious minutes waiting for the firemen to bring me the patient. It all adds up to the need for a heavy load of laundry.

Given this regular occurrence in my life, it might not come as a surprise to you to learn that I have a state-of-the-art tankless water heater from Tanklss Center that guarantees me a few loads in the washing machine followed by a very hot shower. I have had my share of cold showers at the gym or the fire station so I don’t expect a similar one at home. I regularly maintain my appliance so I suffer no more. It doesn’t take much to get a tankless unit in perfect condition compared to the old-style metal versions. Plus, they don’t take that much energy. Lots of hot showers can add up to a big gas bill if you have a faulty system. The day I changed to the new style was a happy day indeed.

The Calls

When people find out that I am an EMT, they always ask for my weirdest stories. I don’t know why. Sure weird things happen almost every day. But don’t weird things happen at your job too? Everybody has an idiotic coworker that does things like stick metal in the microwave or calls IT because the company firewall is preventing him from looking at porn. You’re probably aren’t bound by HIPPA privacy laws, either.

I’ve got some FMF stories that would make you puke. There’s the idiotic stuff that you would expect from guys who get really bored and don’t have any of the usual outlets, and then the other stuff, the terrible things that happen to people in combat. I am not going to tell you that stuff because those aren’t my stories. They’ll tell you themselves for the price of a beer.

I don’t get a lot of those people sticking things in their butts or getting their hands stuck in things calls. People tend to get themselves to the ER themselves if they can in those situations, rather than invite a huge audience to their house. But we do often get called for people stuck in things. We have absolutely had to bring in bolt cutters to free people from their headboards. There have been loads of others stuck in spaces they really should not have fit (my buddy calls these calls Winnies, after the bear), and all kinds of weird scenarios. People should definitely think twice before enacting some of their more interesting fantasies, that is for sure.

One of my more memorable calls happened last year. This genius decided he was going to jump off his roof onto a trampoline, and then leap from there into a pool. If he had made it, it would have been pretty epic. However, he did not. He didn’t even make it onto the trampoline. He was drunk and so were his idiot friends. We were trying to stabilize his legs (the tibia was sticking out of one, and both his ankles were at really unnatural angles) but his friends were all filming him and laughing. They started calling him “air ball” and that made the guy cry. So, the multiple fractures, all kinds of bruises and abrasions, and who knows what kind of internal damage, yet his friends calling him stupid nickname is what made the guy cry. Between the idiocy of the whole stunt and the taunting of his friends, that call really stands out in my head.

Besides the drunk people and the car accidents, there’s always a lot of people maiming themselves with power tools and lawn equipment. Never a dull moment around here, I tell you.